Hi faithful blog readers,
As mum is with dad at St Johns she has asked me to give you all an update on how dad is getting on.
Well things are looking very different from when Mum last blogged. On Tuesday evening (I think, the days start to merge into one) Dad started to have a new pain in his side under his ribcage, he had a very rough nights sleep and the nurses tried everything that they could to control it for him but all day yesterday he was in continual agonising pain. (Grandma and Grandad came down from Derby yesterday morning) A series of different types of drugs were used over a few hours to try and control it for him but he got to the point where it was too much and he had to be sedated. He then had an uncomfortable afternoon where every time he woke up he was in a lot of pain and wanting to get out of bed,as I'm sure you can imagine this was so horrible to witness, its unbearable to see someone you love in that much pain and not be able to do anything for them, but finally things calmed down and he went off to sleep by about 6pm.
Mum stayed with him last night for what was a reasonably peaceful night compared to the afternoon, he had a bit of a struggle at around 6am but managed to get off to sleep again.
I haven't seen him yet today but Mum has told me that his pain appears to be a little better, its just a case of seeing how he feels every time he comes round. The doctors think that the pain may be nerve related and the morphine and various other drugs seem to be working a little better than yesterday which is an improvement. We've even had some classic random quotes from him about Giant rabbits and various other obscure things which always manage to make us laugh, dad even said yesterday "Gosh what a kafuffle!". I have suggested that mum should start writing down some of these quotes, the comical value is brilliant! (That's Dad for you)
I haven't really had a chance to put anything on here before but I just wanted to say how incredibly thankful I am to everyone who has supported Mum and Dad over this past couple of years, what a journey! The amount of loving friends and family that they have is just a witness to how amazing my parents are. I couldn't be prouder of my Mum, what a rock she is, so strong and brave and Dad is such a fighter. I am so blessed to be their daughter.
To be honest everyday is very very hard at the moment for us all, I have set up a mentality of 'One day at a time' because looking forward any more than that proves to be a bit more that I can handle but God is so so faithful, even when the heartache and pain is too much to bear he's always there to run to. I have no idea how people go through this without him by their side.
So please keep praying wonderful people, your prayers mean more than you could ever imagine and thank you again for everything.
We will blog again soon.
Lots of love,
Amy
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Changes....
Hi all
Just a quickie this morning ( 'oh er missus' as my 14 year old son would say and he's never even seen a 'Carry On' film!!)
I have a theory that I have been concocting over the past few weeks which I would like to share with you.....I think this weather is sent by the Lord as some sort of amazing 'I know things are really bad right now so I'm going to make the sun shine for you all in April for weeks on end which it never does and oh I'll make it about 70 degrees as well just so David can sit on his deck for a few hours and soak it up' type thing. Your thoughts on this please....
David managed to make it home for a few hours yesterday afternoon and sit on his deck in ths sun. He is looking very thin and weak but otherwise is in good spirits. There is a now a small, growing hope that he may be able to be discharged next week into the care of the community nurses if he remains stable. This is more than we had dared dream but the nurses tell me that at his stage things are obviously very unpredictable so we must continue to take things a day at a time....but while there is life....
Meanwhile I making some small changes to make life a bit easier in the face of not having my hubbie at home and I am also learning new skills such as landscaping, skip-filling and cleaning out the fish tanks! Life is change and change is often scary but I am learning that if you face up to the change you need to make rather than allowing yourself to be caught up in the 'well it's never going to be the same' mindset then actually it's ok. Life will never be the same again....I knew that a lifetime ago on a bleak December morning sitting in Dr Saunder's office in Bedford hospital.
So...I have bought myself a new lawnmower, cleaned out the garage so I can actually physically get into it (yes it was that bad!) and bought a new juicer that doesn't leak everywhere! Daft things I know but somehow they are helping me to cope because they are helping me to cope if that makes any sense at all..
Today a tonne of rockery stone and 3/4 of a tonne of topsoil are arriving so that I can finish off landscaping the front garden which is what David has been wanting to do for so long...so a busy day ahead. Dave's mum and dad arrive today for a couple of days to visit so David is planning to have a little trip out with them to his beloved boat this afternoon so will let you know how it all goes.
Keep smiling...you know you want to...Flo xx
Just a quickie this morning ( 'oh er missus' as my 14 year old son would say and he's never even seen a 'Carry On' film!!)
I have a theory that I have been concocting over the past few weeks which I would like to share with you.....I think this weather is sent by the Lord as some sort of amazing 'I know things are really bad right now so I'm going to make the sun shine for you all in April for weeks on end which it never does and oh I'll make it about 70 degrees as well just so David can sit on his deck for a few hours and soak it up' type thing. Your thoughts on this please....
David managed to make it home for a few hours yesterday afternoon and sit on his deck in ths sun. He is looking very thin and weak but otherwise is in good spirits. There is a now a small, growing hope that he may be able to be discharged next week into the care of the community nurses if he remains stable. This is more than we had dared dream but the nurses tell me that at his stage things are obviously very unpredictable so we must continue to take things a day at a time....but while there is life....
Meanwhile I making some small changes to make life a bit easier in the face of not having my hubbie at home and I am also learning new skills such as landscaping, skip-filling and cleaning out the fish tanks! Life is change and change is often scary but I am learning that if you face up to the change you need to make rather than allowing yourself to be caught up in the 'well it's never going to be the same' mindset then actually it's ok. Life will never be the same again....I knew that a lifetime ago on a bleak December morning sitting in Dr Saunder's office in Bedford hospital.
So...I have bought myself a new lawnmower, cleaned out the garage so I can actually physically get into it (yes it was that bad!) and bought a new juicer that doesn't leak everywhere! Daft things I know but somehow they are helping me to cope because they are helping me to cope if that makes any sense at all..
Today a tonne of rockery stone and 3/4 of a tonne of topsoil are arriving so that I can finish off landscaping the front garden which is what David has been wanting to do for so long...so a busy day ahead. Dave's mum and dad arrive today for a couple of days to visit so David is planning to have a little trip out with them to his beloved boat this afternoon so will let you know how it all goes.
Keep smiling...you know you want to...Flo xx
Monday, April 26, 2010
David's blog (written Sunday morning)
Sorry it has taken me so long to blog myself. I could string you a story about Florence hogging the laptop for frenzied late night shopping but you know that anyway!
As it happens she is sitting in my hospice room, pen poised, glasses perched on the end of her nose taking down my every word and looking delectable (I have insisted that she leaves that last sentence in!)
Florence has done an amazing job at keeping you all up to speed with developments that just leaves the last 24 hours or so for me.
Yesterday saw what I felt was a rapid deterioration of my health. I slept most of the day and by bedtime was only capable of feeling pain and sicking up blood. I looked into the great abyss there for a moment and it was a very scary place. My doctor whilst here (Dr Khan) suggested a plan of attack which included re-inserting the NG tube to drain my stomach and increasing the anti-emitic ie sickness medication.
Lo and behold both worked and miraculously as of 10.30 on Sunday morning I am feeling a lot perkier!
My lovely wife was here by 7.30 am bathing me, bringing me ice cold drinks (loving Volvic 'Touch of' water for anyone planning on visiting - hint hint...strawberry is the best!!) and frozen homemade lollipops courtesy of the fabulous Sarah Hearn. Seeing my missus brightened my day and has left me feeling so much better. How would I manage without her? (feel free to barf now - Florence).
A thousand thanks to all those who have visited in the last few days, including my baby brother Adrian who has not only visited but re-modelled the front garden! John and Amanda brought champagne and strawberries which was fabulous and my bessie mate Lord Burrell is another frequent visitor bless him.
Apologies to those who haven't been able to visit when I have been too poorly to see anyone....I'm afraid at the moment I just have to take it a day at a time.
Must warn you that if you do visit I can't guarantee coherent conversation (twas ever thus). I have previously engaged perplexed guests in drug induced conversations regarding Mastermind, pawnbrokers and Jugged Hare! What was that all about??
Anyway, signing off for now...time for post lunch snooze...
Much love
David
As it happens she is sitting in my hospice room, pen poised, glasses perched on the end of her nose taking down my every word and looking delectable (I have insisted that she leaves that last sentence in!)
Florence has done an amazing job at keeping you all up to speed with developments that just leaves the last 24 hours or so for me.
Yesterday saw what I felt was a rapid deterioration of my health. I slept most of the day and by bedtime was only capable of feeling pain and sicking up blood. I looked into the great abyss there for a moment and it was a very scary place. My doctor whilst here (Dr Khan) suggested a plan of attack which included re-inserting the NG tube to drain my stomach and increasing the anti-emitic ie sickness medication.
Lo and behold both worked and miraculously as of 10.30 on Sunday morning I am feeling a lot perkier!
My lovely wife was here by 7.30 am bathing me, bringing me ice cold drinks (loving Volvic 'Touch of' water for anyone planning on visiting - hint hint...strawberry is the best!!) and frozen homemade lollipops courtesy of the fabulous Sarah Hearn. Seeing my missus brightened my day and has left me feeling so much better. How would I manage without her? (feel free to barf now - Florence).
A thousand thanks to all those who have visited in the last few days, including my baby brother Adrian who has not only visited but re-modelled the front garden! John and Amanda brought champagne and strawberries which was fabulous and my bessie mate Lord Burrell is another frequent visitor bless him.
Apologies to those who haven't been able to visit when I have been too poorly to see anyone....I'm afraid at the moment I just have to take it a day at a time.
Must warn you that if you do visit I can't guarantee coherent conversation (twas ever thus). I have previously engaged perplexed guests in drug induced conversations regarding Mastermind, pawnbrokers and Jugged Hare! What was that all about??
Anyway, signing off for now...time for post lunch snooze...
Much love
David
The important stuff
Happy Monday morning to you all
Just a brief Florence blog this morning. I will post one from David this evening as he dictated one to me yesterday morning and I forgot to bring it home with me!
So just a quick update. David has gone from incredibly ill to quite well over the past couple of days. Saturday was a terrible day and they thought they were going to lose him on Saturday night but I will let David tell it for you later. I went in to the hospice at some very early hour yesterday morning but by the time I got there he was feeling a bit brighter and after a bath and some TLC he had a much better day but again more detail later.
Just a couple of things I wanted to say. Firstly all the staff at St Johns are amazing. I can't praise them highly enough and the care they give is just wonderful and they do a difficult and not very well paid job BECAUSE they care. One of the nurses who looks after David came and chatted with us yesterday and she told us that she went home in tears on Saturday night because David was in such a state and she felt so moved by his suffering. She has worked there for 12 years and yet still goes home in tears!
Also she asked me through the medium of the blog to try and help dispel the myth that hospices are scary places (obvious I suppose because of the association with death!) However for anyone who has never been to one I can honestly say that they are the complete opposite. Every time I walk in I feel peaceful, safe and calm. There is no fear and often the place is full of laughter (the nurses are always joking around with each other!)Eventually one of the things I would like to do is to be a volunteer there and to try and give a bit of something back which might help others who are going through this difficult process.
Finally I wanted to say that David and I (in those moments when he is well enough) are working things through, saying the things we need to say and talking about the important stuff like his wishes for the funeral and what happens afterwards with myself and the children. I would like to encourage all of you who has someone near and dear to do the same with them. Inevitably at a time like this you talk ahout whether it is better to be going through the suffering process like this or to walk out the door one day and never come back. There is no better - they are both shit. However what this has shown me is how important it is that if you do get hit by the symbolic bus that you have said what you need to say and written letters for your loved ones and if you have any strong feelings about burial or hymns or flowers then you have made them known. Don't leave it and think it will never happen to you. There is an immense amount of comfort in knowing that those things are in place and that I will be able to carry out David's wishes to the full as and when the time comes. It means the world to me.
Anyway..on that happy note...have a lovely day and PLEASE don't get hit by a bus...I would feel terrible!!
Over to David later
Florence x
Just a brief Florence blog this morning. I will post one from David this evening as he dictated one to me yesterday morning and I forgot to bring it home with me!
So just a quick update. David has gone from incredibly ill to quite well over the past couple of days. Saturday was a terrible day and they thought they were going to lose him on Saturday night but I will let David tell it for you later. I went in to the hospice at some very early hour yesterday morning but by the time I got there he was feeling a bit brighter and after a bath and some TLC he had a much better day but again more detail later.
Just a couple of things I wanted to say. Firstly all the staff at St Johns are amazing. I can't praise them highly enough and the care they give is just wonderful and they do a difficult and not very well paid job BECAUSE they care. One of the nurses who looks after David came and chatted with us yesterday and she told us that she went home in tears on Saturday night because David was in such a state and she felt so moved by his suffering. She has worked there for 12 years and yet still goes home in tears!
Also she asked me through the medium of the blog to try and help dispel the myth that hospices are scary places (obvious I suppose because of the association with death!) However for anyone who has never been to one I can honestly say that they are the complete opposite. Every time I walk in I feel peaceful, safe and calm. There is no fear and often the place is full of laughter (the nurses are always joking around with each other!)Eventually one of the things I would like to do is to be a volunteer there and to try and give a bit of something back which might help others who are going through this difficult process.
Finally I wanted to say that David and I (in those moments when he is well enough) are working things through, saying the things we need to say and talking about the important stuff like his wishes for the funeral and what happens afterwards with myself and the children. I would like to encourage all of you who has someone near and dear to do the same with them. Inevitably at a time like this you talk ahout whether it is better to be going through the suffering process like this or to walk out the door one day and never come back. There is no better - they are both shit. However what this has shown me is how important it is that if you do get hit by the symbolic bus that you have said what you need to say and written letters for your loved ones and if you have any strong feelings about burial or hymns or flowers then you have made them known. Don't leave it and think it will never happen to you. There is an immense amount of comfort in knowing that those things are in place and that I will be able to carry out David's wishes to the full as and when the time comes. It means the world to me.
Anyway..on that happy note...have a lovely day and PLEASE don't get hit by a bus...I would feel terrible!!
Over to David later
Florence x
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Here....and back again
Hi everyone - another Saturday...another week gone by....
David has been a little better over the past couple of days and so managed to make a trip back to the house for a few hours yesterday afternoon which he enjoyed very much. He even had the energy for a little trip to Carys' school where they were holding a sale to raise funds for their annual summer trip and he laughed and chatted to everyone. Amy and James took him back around 7 pm and he phoned me last night to say he was all settled in for the night.
Thanks to all those who have visited...I know it was hard for you guys but lovely to see you all.
You will have to forgive me. I am struggling to share today so I apologize for just a brief update.I keep starting sentences and then erasing them again. It was a lovely day yesterday.....
Enjoy the sunshine and each other today
Teresa x
David has been a little better over the past couple of days and so managed to make a trip back to the house for a few hours yesterday afternoon which he enjoyed very much. He even had the energy for a little trip to Carys' school where they were holding a sale to raise funds for their annual summer trip and he laughed and chatted to everyone. Amy and James took him back around 7 pm and he phoned me last night to say he was all settled in for the night.
Thanks to all those who have visited...I know it was hard for you guys but lovely to see you all.
You will have to forgive me. I am struggling to share today so I apologize for just a brief update.I keep starting sentences and then erasing them again. It was a lovely day yesterday.....
Enjoy the sunshine and each other today
Teresa x
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
And so to St John's.....
Evening all,
Sorry not to blog last night...the whole family came back to the house after spending the day with David and we had a truly remarkable evening laughing and chatting and then...after reading all your amazing comments on the blog.....finally crying our eyes out together. It was an incredibly emotional night and one I will always remember. I think reality (assisted by a few glasses of wine!) finally hit all of us and we let go and allowed ourselves not to be brave and to show our grief to each other which was so hard to bear but also incredibly cathartic. We hugged and talked and hugged some more and spoke so many precious words which families so rarely get to say to each other (sadly!) both about our love for each other and of course about David and our feelings for him.
The pain of the last 48 hours has been too much to bear at times....and I can't begin to find the words to describe it so I won't even try...but also...strangely...there have also been moments of intense exhilaration when we have celebrated David's life together and have spent precious time both with him and with each other.
So...how is he? David travelled to Moggerhanger in an ambulance late yesterday morning and from the moment we stepped through the door it was like a different world. David is in a room on his own with an en suite shower room, a beautiful view, tv and dvd, a reclining chair and a bed that will put him into whatever position is most comfortable for him all at the touch of a button. I can visit him whenever I wish (even 3 am if I am awake!!) and when you call the nurses they are there within 30 seconds. Hallelujah!! The staff are just wonderful.....nothing is too much trouble and they are listening to what he wants and delivering it without question.
As David himself put it 30 minutes after he arrived they should have a huge slogan at the bottom of the drive 'Croak it in Comfort!' (typical black humour!)
It is a huge relief for him to be there. It is so lovely to come and go as you please without the hassle of busy carparks and lifts that don't work and no privacy. You can have a jacuzzi bath or wander around the gardens, look at the huge carp in the pond, sit in the conservatory and just enjoy spending time together....in fact time just drifts along without you noticing which is lovely.
Yesterday David was very upbeat and chirpy, and coped very well with the transfer, but this morning he was once again in a lot of pain and it took some time to get this under control. He has had a visit from the consultant at the hospice who went through all his symptoms and changed some of the medication he was on which helped greatly and when I left him this evening he was comfortable and relaxed. He is managing small amounts of food and also the steroids do seem to be helping the swelling to a degree. He is becoming very skinny and short of breath which is heartbreaking to see...but in his good moments he has a plan to come home for a day or two and that is keeping his spirits up and giving him something to work towards.
Since making the move he has begun to allow himself to grieve...and the tears are finally coming after all this time. Our hearts are breaking together over our children....the future we will never have together..the grandchildren he will never see...walking Carys up the aisle...and all the dreams and hopes which will never now come true. And yet the love we share somehow makes all the the pain and the hurt bearable...somehow...
Thanks to Ken and Mu for your visit today..it meant so much and was a very precious time for us both. To family and friends....thanks for all your visits/comments/texts etc....as Marion so rightly said in her comment...this is our Gethsemane and it helps so much to know that you are all keeping vigil with us through the days and nights...thankyou all so much.
Florence xx
Sorry not to blog last night...the whole family came back to the house after spending the day with David and we had a truly remarkable evening laughing and chatting and then...after reading all your amazing comments on the blog.....finally crying our eyes out together. It was an incredibly emotional night and one I will always remember. I think reality (assisted by a few glasses of wine!) finally hit all of us and we let go and allowed ourselves not to be brave and to show our grief to each other which was so hard to bear but also incredibly cathartic. We hugged and talked and hugged some more and spoke so many precious words which families so rarely get to say to each other (sadly!) both about our love for each other and of course about David and our feelings for him.
The pain of the last 48 hours has been too much to bear at times....and I can't begin to find the words to describe it so I won't even try...but also...strangely...there have also been moments of intense exhilaration when we have celebrated David's life together and have spent precious time both with him and with each other.
So...how is he? David travelled to Moggerhanger in an ambulance late yesterday morning and from the moment we stepped through the door it was like a different world. David is in a room on his own with an en suite shower room, a beautiful view, tv and dvd, a reclining chair and a bed that will put him into whatever position is most comfortable for him all at the touch of a button. I can visit him whenever I wish (even 3 am if I am awake!!) and when you call the nurses they are there within 30 seconds. Hallelujah!! The staff are just wonderful.....nothing is too much trouble and they are listening to what he wants and delivering it without question.
As David himself put it 30 minutes after he arrived they should have a huge slogan at the bottom of the drive 'Croak it in Comfort!' (typical black humour!)
It is a huge relief for him to be there. It is so lovely to come and go as you please without the hassle of busy carparks and lifts that don't work and no privacy. You can have a jacuzzi bath or wander around the gardens, look at the huge carp in the pond, sit in the conservatory and just enjoy spending time together....in fact time just drifts along without you noticing which is lovely.
Yesterday David was very upbeat and chirpy, and coped very well with the transfer, but this morning he was once again in a lot of pain and it took some time to get this under control. He has had a visit from the consultant at the hospice who went through all his symptoms and changed some of the medication he was on which helped greatly and when I left him this evening he was comfortable and relaxed. He is managing small amounts of food and also the steroids do seem to be helping the swelling to a degree. He is becoming very skinny and short of breath which is heartbreaking to see...but in his good moments he has a plan to come home for a day or two and that is keeping his spirits up and giving him something to work towards.
Since making the move he has begun to allow himself to grieve...and the tears are finally coming after all this time. Our hearts are breaking together over our children....the future we will never have together..the grandchildren he will never see...walking Carys up the aisle...and all the dreams and hopes which will never now come true. And yet the love we share somehow makes all the the pain and the hurt bearable...somehow...
Thanks to Ken and Mu for your visit today..it meant so much and was a very precious time for us both. To family and friends....thanks for all your visits/comments/texts etc....as Marion so rightly said in her comment...this is our Gethsemane and it helps so much to know that you are all keeping vigil with us through the days and nights...thankyou all so much.
Florence xx
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
My dear friends
Early on Monday morning David took a turn for the worse. He woke up with excruciating spasms in his back which the medical staff struggled to control. When I got in to see him the medical Dr - Dr Harvey had already been in and told him that both surgically and medically there was nothing more they could do for him. Later after a meeting with all parties including Dr Bulusi it was agreed that no further intervention including chemo would help at this stage.
David's bowel is crippled by the cancer and therefore anything he eats is both not being absorbed but is also adding to the congestion. There is fluid in his stomach but not enough to drain off and the excess swelling is wind and poo backing up in his system. They are giving him some steroids to see if that will help to reduce the swelling and make him more comfortable in the short term but no guarantees.
He has at best a few weeks to live. Tomorrow morning he moves to St John's so that they can assist with his pain. His nasal gastic tube has been removed to make things more comfortable for him. His mum and dad arrived this afternoon to see him and his brother Adrian and sister in law Ann and his auntie Joy and uncle Bob have also come down from Derby with a view to visiting him today.
David himself is determined to live as long as he can and is longing to come home for a few days if possible. He is frightened of the pain and is looking forward to getting to St John's so that he can have a more comfortable environment with his needs being looked after by one or two staff rather than 20.
My dear friends - the words I want to write now won't come. It is 2.45 in the morning and sleep seems a million miles away. In the last 2 years I have been at this point in my mind a hundred times but nothing can actually prepare you for it. My head and my heart are so blocked and backed up with thoughts and emotions. It is not possible to keep crying is it? You keep breathing so why are you unable to keep crying? That's all I want to do but I can't.
God walk with you all today.
Florence xx
David's bowel is crippled by the cancer and therefore anything he eats is both not being absorbed but is also adding to the congestion. There is fluid in his stomach but not enough to drain off and the excess swelling is wind and poo backing up in his system. They are giving him some steroids to see if that will help to reduce the swelling and make him more comfortable in the short term but no guarantees.
He has at best a few weeks to live. Tomorrow morning he moves to St John's so that they can assist with his pain. His nasal gastic tube has been removed to make things more comfortable for him. His mum and dad arrived this afternoon to see him and his brother Adrian and sister in law Ann and his auntie Joy and uncle Bob have also come down from Derby with a view to visiting him today.
David himself is determined to live as long as he can and is longing to come home for a few days if possible. He is frightened of the pain and is looking forward to getting to St John's so that he can have a more comfortable environment with his needs being looked after by one or two staff rather than 20.
My dear friends - the words I want to write now won't come. It is 2.45 in the morning and sleep seems a million miles away. In the last 2 years I have been at this point in my mind a hundred times but nothing can actually prepare you for it. My head and my heart are so blocked and backed up with thoughts and emotions. It is not possible to keep crying is it? You keep breathing so why are you unable to keep crying? That's all I want to do but I can't.
God walk with you all today.
Florence xx
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Ups and Downs..
Saturday morning! Wow what a rollercoaster!
Sorry I didn't get chance to blog with news last night. David's lovely cousin Julia and her boyfriend were staying the night so I was entertaining (eg taking them over the Bell!). They are training with us as Julia has bought a tutoring franchise so myself and Amy are working with them all weekend to get them ready for their big opening. They are a really great couple - obsessed with not causing me any more work/hassle but they are so excited about running their own business and it was really good to spend a couple of hours talking about them and their future (Julia is pregnant) rather than cancer!!
Anyway back to yesterday....bit frustrating again really. We have been told that Dr B will come and see us on Monday evening as a) he is snowed under with catching up having been away and b) he wants to give David a few more days to recuperate. Eleanor came to see us and spent about 20 mins with us and assured us that although she couldn't speak for Dr B at the moment the chemo (which was booked in before Easter) is still booked in and nothing is 'off the table' so read into that what you will. I think in reality he will discuss the pros/cons/benefits with us and then we can decide how to proceed....so tentatively positive...Monday it is!
David remains well although he does get tired very easily he is much more positive mentally and wanting to play travel scrabble and discuss plans over the Summer. He is eating small portions now although he has got to keep the tube in his nose for now so isn't absorbing much nutritionally but if they remove it they are concerned that his bowel will block again and we will be back to square one. He went for another ultrasound to locate the fluid on his stomach but had a failed attempt last night to drain it off from the marked sites which was a bit frustrating for him as the fluid is obviously there (he is very swollen again) and causing him some discomfort. Apparently unless he gets significantly worse they now won't do anything until Monday.
He is still on intravenous antibiotics until tomorrow night and the plan at the moment is potentially to move him to St John's on Monday for a couple of days - Dr B will visit us there if that is the case.
Not much more to tell at the mo...am off to visit this morning and then training the rest of the weekend so won't get to see him again until Sunday late afternoon. If you do want to visit would you please check with me first - I know I am being very protective but he still isn't up to seeing too many folks at the moment.
Will update if I have any news my faithful blogettes! Have a lovely weekend and enjoy the sunshine!
Florence x
Sorry I didn't get chance to blog with news last night. David's lovely cousin Julia and her boyfriend were staying the night so I was entertaining (eg taking them over the Bell!). They are training with us as Julia has bought a tutoring franchise so myself and Amy are working with them all weekend to get them ready for their big opening. They are a really great couple - obsessed with not causing me any more work/hassle but they are so excited about running their own business and it was really good to spend a couple of hours talking about them and their future (Julia is pregnant) rather than cancer!!
Anyway back to yesterday....bit frustrating again really. We have been told that Dr B will come and see us on Monday evening as a) he is snowed under with catching up having been away and b) he wants to give David a few more days to recuperate. Eleanor came to see us and spent about 20 mins with us and assured us that although she couldn't speak for Dr B at the moment the chemo (which was booked in before Easter) is still booked in and nothing is 'off the table' so read into that what you will. I think in reality he will discuss the pros/cons/benefits with us and then we can decide how to proceed....so tentatively positive...Monday it is!
David remains well although he does get tired very easily he is much more positive mentally and wanting to play travel scrabble and discuss plans over the Summer. He is eating small portions now although he has got to keep the tube in his nose for now so isn't absorbing much nutritionally but if they remove it they are concerned that his bowel will block again and we will be back to square one. He went for another ultrasound to locate the fluid on his stomach but had a failed attempt last night to drain it off from the marked sites which was a bit frustrating for him as the fluid is obviously there (he is very swollen again) and causing him some discomfort. Apparently unless he gets significantly worse they now won't do anything until Monday.
He is still on intravenous antibiotics until tomorrow night and the plan at the moment is potentially to move him to St John's on Monday for a couple of days - Dr B will visit us there if that is the case.
Not much more to tell at the mo...am off to visit this morning and then training the rest of the weekend so won't get to see him again until Sunday late afternoon. If you do want to visit would you please check with me first - I know I am being very protective but he still isn't up to seeing too many folks at the moment.
Will update if I have any news my faithful blogettes! Have a lovely weekend and enjoy the sunshine!
Florence x
Friday, April 16, 2010
Words are not enough...
Good morning and what a lovely sunny morning it is -
Firstly thanks with all my heart to everyone who commented on the last blog and the many texts and messages of support that came our way...you are a lovely lot aren't you. I was especially glad to hear from John and his wife - I had heard that he was able to have surgery and is I am so pleased to hear that he is still going strong - bless you both.
Just a quick update today...David is feeling MUCH better - sickness and all other symptoms under control and he is beginning to eat a little again. He just phoned me and for the first time in over a week he sounded like his old self which was WONDERFUL!! He requested that I buy him a narrowboat magazine yesterday (oh so easy to find !!!!) and he was raving about how interesting it was - so yes he's feeling a lot more normal.
We had 2 rather surreal moments yesterday, the first being around 10 am when the Macmillan nurse (Carol), Eleanor (Upper GI nurse) and Yvonne(from St John's) were all gathered around his bed including myself to discuss what was happening and the way forward. David has opened his bowels in the night (won't go into details but suffice to say he needed a shower when I got there!!) and we were all sat around his bed like a little hareem discussing his poo and getting very excited - it was like a scene from a black comedy!
The second surreal moment was in the afternoon - out of nowhere onto the ward appeared a small black gospel choir from a local pentecostal church who started singing hymns and praying for everyone. They came to see David and being a bit put on the spot he thought of the first gospel hymn which he thought they might know which was 'Soon and very soon'. It wasn't until we all started singing that we suddenly realised what the lyrics were and then of course we were all in floods of tears;
'Soon and very soon
We are going to see the King
No more dying there
We are going to see the King,
No more crying there
We are going to see the King,
Hallelujah, hallelujah
We're going to see the King'
It was a moment to cherish and they were so sweet and prayed for him so fervently which was lovely and it was a good excuse for a cuddle and a cry with my hubbie.
What was so good yesterday was that the ladies of the cancer team (mentioned above) finally pulled everything together for us and we now have a plan and it was great just to have things explained clearly and simply. So here we go....David is unable to have surgery as the blockages in his bowel are caused by the cancer in the lining of the bowel (part of the peritoneum) pressing on the bowel. So surgery won't help as the only thing to do would be to take out the bowel entirely which they won't put him through.
The plan now is to get him over to St Johns asap (will be today or Monday I think) where he can have a few days of rest and they can talk to him about his eating, what to do if he becomes unwell again etc and then HOME - HURRAH!
Ok so here is the crunch...we are still waiting on Dr Bulusi to see us ...hopefully today... and I am off down to the hospital shortly to play the waiting game again. He will give us a decision regarding further treatment and reading between the lines I would say it is around 70/30 odds against due to the extent of the spread. If he feels that David won't benefit then he won't do it which is fair enough and we trust that if he feels that he can extend David's life I know he will try to..but it's down to him. If not then we are in the world where we look to control his symptoms and keep him as well as possible over the coming weeks/months and just enjoy our time together.....
I didn't sleep well last night for the first time in a while...but this morning and yesterday both David and I feels God's peace whatever happens...this is not a trite statement...it's just that somehow we both just accept that it is beyond our control.. hence the title of this blog...everything I seemed to say to people yesterday..trying to explain how I felt, just didn't do it justice by a mile...I am hopeful and heartbroken and grieving and grateful all at the same time..sorry for the alliteration...but words are not enough to sum it up and they never will be.
In the midst of all this there you all are...friends...family...mums and dads..brothers and sisters....sons and daughters...dear people we have known just a short while and for many years...oh and Chloe! (only kidding!)and I know that words are not enough for you guys either....
This has been the toughest week of our lives and we couldn't have got through it without all of you so thankyou again...whatever tomorrow brings I know that I've been blessed and nothing can change that...ever.
Finally thanks to my beautiful Amy for stepping into the breach today and doing the training I was supposed to be doing...you are my rock in so many ways.
Will keep you all posted...be good to yourselves today...I recommend Ben and Jerry's Phish food ice cream (thanks to Chloe!)and an episode of Pineapple Dance Studios...fab!
Florence xx
Firstly thanks with all my heart to everyone who commented on the last blog and the many texts and messages of support that came our way...you are a lovely lot aren't you. I was especially glad to hear from John and his wife - I had heard that he was able to have surgery and is I am so pleased to hear that he is still going strong - bless you both.
Just a quick update today...David is feeling MUCH better - sickness and all other symptoms under control and he is beginning to eat a little again. He just phoned me and for the first time in over a week he sounded like his old self which was WONDERFUL!! He requested that I buy him a narrowboat magazine yesterday (oh so easy to find !!!!) and he was raving about how interesting it was - so yes he's feeling a lot more normal.
We had 2 rather surreal moments yesterday, the first being around 10 am when the Macmillan nurse (Carol), Eleanor (Upper GI nurse) and Yvonne(from St John's) were all gathered around his bed including myself to discuss what was happening and the way forward. David has opened his bowels in the night (won't go into details but suffice to say he needed a shower when I got there!!) and we were all sat around his bed like a little hareem discussing his poo and getting very excited - it was like a scene from a black comedy!
The second surreal moment was in the afternoon - out of nowhere onto the ward appeared a small black gospel choir from a local pentecostal church who started singing hymns and praying for everyone. They came to see David and being a bit put on the spot he thought of the first gospel hymn which he thought they might know which was 'Soon and very soon'. It wasn't until we all started singing that we suddenly realised what the lyrics were and then of course we were all in floods of tears;
'Soon and very soon
We are going to see the King
No more dying there
We are going to see the King,
No more crying there
We are going to see the King,
Hallelujah, hallelujah
We're going to see the King'
It was a moment to cherish and they were so sweet and prayed for him so fervently which was lovely and it was a good excuse for a cuddle and a cry with my hubbie.
What was so good yesterday was that the ladies of the cancer team (mentioned above) finally pulled everything together for us and we now have a plan and it was great just to have things explained clearly and simply. So here we go....David is unable to have surgery as the blockages in his bowel are caused by the cancer in the lining of the bowel (part of the peritoneum) pressing on the bowel. So surgery won't help as the only thing to do would be to take out the bowel entirely which they won't put him through.
The plan now is to get him over to St Johns asap (will be today or Monday I think) where he can have a few days of rest and they can talk to him about his eating, what to do if he becomes unwell again etc and then HOME - HURRAH!
Ok so here is the crunch...we are still waiting on Dr Bulusi to see us ...hopefully today... and I am off down to the hospital shortly to play the waiting game again. He will give us a decision regarding further treatment and reading between the lines I would say it is around 70/30 odds against due to the extent of the spread. If he feels that David won't benefit then he won't do it which is fair enough and we trust that if he feels that he can extend David's life I know he will try to..but it's down to him. If not then we are in the world where we look to control his symptoms and keep him as well as possible over the coming weeks/months and just enjoy our time together.....
I didn't sleep well last night for the first time in a while...but this morning and yesterday both David and I feels God's peace whatever happens...this is not a trite statement...it's just that somehow we both just accept that it is beyond our control.. hence the title of this blog...everything I seemed to say to people yesterday..trying to explain how I felt, just didn't do it justice by a mile...I am hopeful and heartbroken and grieving and grateful all at the same time..sorry for the alliteration...but words are not enough to sum it up and they never will be.
In the midst of all this there you all are...friends...family...mums and dads..brothers and sisters....sons and daughters...dear people we have known just a short while and for many years...oh and Chloe! (only kidding!)and I know that words are not enough for you guys either....
This has been the toughest week of our lives and we couldn't have got through it without all of you so thankyou again...whatever tomorrow brings I know that I've been blessed and nothing can change that...ever.
Finally thanks to my beautiful Amy for stepping into the breach today and doing the training I was supposed to be doing...you are my rock in so many ways.
Will keep you all posted...be good to yourselves today...I recommend Ben and Jerry's Phish food ice cream (thanks to Chloe!)and an episode of Pineapple Dance Studios...fab!
Florence xx
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Rocky XV
Hi lovely friends
Today is possibly the first day when I can't bring myself to tell you all that has happened in the last 24 hours because it's all too raw and upsetting and difficult. I feel like I did when David was first diagnosed, that I am living in a nightmare world where all the days start to merge into one and I hope that at some point I will wake up and realize it was all just a bad dream and all the pain and grief and stress that I am living under will fade into memory. But I am sadly wide awake and the nightmare is very real and it is a infinitely worse for David, which hurts even more. At the moment I feel like I am rolling with the punches, each one of which floors me and I just have to keep coming back for more, rushing from hope to utter despair and back again. Please believe me when I say that I am not trying to be over dramatic and honestly no one can help - it's just the truth of where I am at and tonight I am not feeling brave or positive...just tired and lonely. I know you are all there for us...thankyou...
However my friends what I can do is give you an overview and happily there is some good news in there. The very good news is that the anti sickness drugs finally seem to be working and David is beginning to feel better after a very shaky start this morning where his blood pressure dropped dramatically and he was in terrible pain and they rushed him in for an x ray to try and find out what was happening. As the day progressed his blood pressure also returned to fairly normal and the pain lessened so physically things are a bit more positive.
I have to be at the hospital for 8.30 tomorrow as the surgical team took a look at today's scan and may decide to give him an operation to relieve a blockage in his bowel which they said on Friday was not there. They are apparently coming in the morning to speak to him but what this blockage is or what the surgery might entail I have no clue as the surgeon who came to see him today initially said that it was not worth doing due to the spread of his cancer....please say you are also confused!! He may also need to have his stomach drained again tomorrow but again no definites at this point - you begin to get a sense of my frustration.
Hopefully we may also see Dr Bulusi tomorrow but again no guarantees..depends on his workload so it may be Friday. We trust him above anyone else (medically)so please pray...can't say anymore tonight except thanks my guardian angels Nick and Sarah for all you did today.
Love as always, sleep well,
x
Today is possibly the first day when I can't bring myself to tell you all that has happened in the last 24 hours because it's all too raw and upsetting and difficult. I feel like I did when David was first diagnosed, that I am living in a nightmare world where all the days start to merge into one and I hope that at some point I will wake up and realize it was all just a bad dream and all the pain and grief and stress that I am living under will fade into memory. But I am sadly wide awake and the nightmare is very real and it is a infinitely worse for David, which hurts even more. At the moment I feel like I am rolling with the punches, each one of which floors me and I just have to keep coming back for more, rushing from hope to utter despair and back again. Please believe me when I say that I am not trying to be over dramatic and honestly no one can help - it's just the truth of where I am at and tonight I am not feeling brave or positive...just tired and lonely. I know you are all there for us...thankyou...
However my friends what I can do is give you an overview and happily there is some good news in there. The very good news is that the anti sickness drugs finally seem to be working and David is beginning to feel better after a very shaky start this morning where his blood pressure dropped dramatically and he was in terrible pain and they rushed him in for an x ray to try and find out what was happening. As the day progressed his blood pressure also returned to fairly normal and the pain lessened so physically things are a bit more positive.
I have to be at the hospital for 8.30 tomorrow as the surgical team took a look at today's scan and may decide to give him an operation to relieve a blockage in his bowel which they said on Friday was not there. They are apparently coming in the morning to speak to him but what this blockage is or what the surgery might entail I have no clue as the surgeon who came to see him today initially said that it was not worth doing due to the spread of his cancer....please say you are also confused!! He may also need to have his stomach drained again tomorrow but again no definites at this point - you begin to get a sense of my frustration.
Hopefully we may also see Dr Bulusi tomorrow but again no guarantees..depends on his workload so it may be Friday. We trust him above anyone else (medically)so please pray...can't say anymore tonight except thanks my guardian angels Nick and Sarah for all you did today.
Love as always, sleep well,
x
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Much the same
Hi faithful blog readers
Not much to report from the hospital bed today. David remains very poorly - he just sleeps and is sick literally and even my visits seem too much for him so I am only staying for a couple of hours and then leaving him to rest. The results of the blood tests revealled that he has got some sort of infection so they are starting him on anti-biotics today and they have 24 hour sickness relief in a 'driver' straight into his leg. This doesn't seem to be helping however at the moment. He is also getting more fluid build up in his body cavity which will need to be drained again in the next couple of days.
The staff are all lovely and are doing all they can to keep him comfortable but it's just going to take some time for him to start recovering so I think we are in for a fairly long stint in the hospital....of course I will keep you all updated. I'm sorry he is not up to visits at the moment - he has asked for everyone to keep praying for him and I have assured him that when he is up to it there are people queueing up to come and show their love and support!
Thanks again for all words of encouragement and kind thoughts. Thanks particularly to Jane for having and entertaining Carys for the past couple of days - it has made life so much easier for me and has been lovely for her! You are a treasure.
Love as always
Flo xx
Not much to report from the hospital bed today. David remains very poorly - he just sleeps and is sick literally and even my visits seem too much for him so I am only staying for a couple of hours and then leaving him to rest. The results of the blood tests revealled that he has got some sort of infection so they are starting him on anti-biotics today and they have 24 hour sickness relief in a 'driver' straight into his leg. This doesn't seem to be helping however at the moment. He is also getting more fluid build up in his body cavity which will need to be drained again in the next couple of days.
The staff are all lovely and are doing all they can to keep him comfortable but it's just going to take some time for him to start recovering so I think we are in for a fairly long stint in the hospital....of course I will keep you all updated. I'm sorry he is not up to visits at the moment - he has asked for everyone to keep praying for him and I have assured him that when he is up to it there are people queueing up to come and show their love and support!
Thanks again for all words of encouragement and kind thoughts. Thanks particularly to Jane for having and entertaining Carys for the past couple of days - it has made life so much easier for me and has been lovely for her! You are a treasure.
Love as always
Flo xx
Monday, April 12, 2010
Hi everyone,
I've just left David and come into the office for a couple of hours to try and do some 'normal' stuff for a while. He needs to try and get some sleep and is very poorly - being constantly sick and in quite a lot of pain. The nurses are trying everything to stabilize him but he's now developed a temperature so we are into another round of tests to see if there is any infection which may be causing the sickness.
The Macmillan nurse at the hospital is wonderful and is trying her best to ensure that we get all the information and help we need but generally things do move slowly, and it can be frustrating when you are waiting for the medicines etc. However while I was there she did get one of the doctors to come and talk us through the scan results. It seems that since the last scan 5 weeks ago there has been a very rapid spread of the cancer, which is what we suspected.
Apparently it is not on the bowel as was first mentioned but is actually on the peritoneum which is the membrance which surrounds the stomach, liver, kidneys etc. and that they could see clumps of the disease all over the peritoneum. Dr Bulusi is not back in the country until Thursday so hopefully we will be able to meet with him then and discuss the way forward. At this point the main thing is to get him feeling well again so that he will be fit enough for any chemo etc. that they are able to offer.
I'm so sorry not to be the bearer of better news to you my friends..especially today...love you to all...keep praying..
Florence xx
I've just left David and come into the office for a couple of hours to try and do some 'normal' stuff for a while. He needs to try and get some sleep and is very poorly - being constantly sick and in quite a lot of pain. The nurses are trying everything to stabilize him but he's now developed a temperature so we are into another round of tests to see if there is any infection which may be causing the sickness.
The Macmillan nurse at the hospital is wonderful and is trying her best to ensure that we get all the information and help we need but generally things do move slowly, and it can be frustrating when you are waiting for the medicines etc. However while I was there she did get one of the doctors to come and talk us through the scan results. It seems that since the last scan 5 weeks ago there has been a very rapid spread of the cancer, which is what we suspected.
Apparently it is not on the bowel as was first mentioned but is actually on the peritoneum which is the membrance which surrounds the stomach, liver, kidneys etc. and that they could see clumps of the disease all over the peritoneum. Dr Bulusi is not back in the country until Thursday so hopefully we will be able to meet with him then and discuss the way forward. At this point the main thing is to get him feeling well again so that he will be fit enough for any chemo etc. that they are able to offer.
I'm so sorry not to be the bearer of better news to you my friends..especially today...love you to all...keep praying..
Florence xx
Monday morning.....
Good morning to everyone
Today is my 24th wedding anniversary (and also would have been my own mum and dad's if he was still with us...not sure how many years it would have been though mum...?) and whilst taking the dog out on a walk around the river meadow at the country park I think back to this day 24 years ago and what a lovely day it was - it really was one of the happiest days of my life.
I hope that you will forgive me for a little sentimentalism...but looking back at the photographs (apart from considering how terribly dated they look - Dave wore a shiny silver suit with a pink leather tie and had a moustache!)I think about how many people we have loved and lost since then...and how we still miss many of them so much.
Often the pain of that loss can hit you unexpectedly...a line from a song or a present you were given...but what we hopefully learn through time is to acknowledge and accept that the pain is part of the fact that we still love them and also to be thankful for that person and for each day that they walked alongside us on our journey. Today I want to give a big Florence hug to all those who love us and are walking with us at the moment and to say thankyou for being part of our journey and that we are honoured to be even a small part of yours...
Will hopefully update you all later...have a lovely Monday xx
Today is my 24th wedding anniversary (and also would have been my own mum and dad's if he was still with us...not sure how many years it would have been though mum...?) and whilst taking the dog out on a walk around the river meadow at the country park I think back to this day 24 years ago and what a lovely day it was - it really was one of the happiest days of my life.
I hope that you will forgive me for a little sentimentalism...but looking back at the photographs (apart from considering how terribly dated they look - Dave wore a shiny silver suit with a pink leather tie and had a moustache!)I think about how many people we have loved and lost since then...and how we still miss many of them so much.
Often the pain of that loss can hit you unexpectedly...a line from a song or a present you were given...but what we hopefully learn through time is to acknowledge and accept that the pain is part of the fact that we still love them and also to be thankful for that person and for each day that they walked alongside us on our journey. Today I want to give a big Florence hug to all those who love us and are walking with us at the moment and to say thankyou for being part of our journey and that we are honoured to be even a small part of yours...
Will hopefully update you all later...have a lovely Monday xx
Sunday, April 11, 2010
6 Litres!!!
Morning all
Just a quick update - they came to drain the fluid from around David's stomach at around 8 pm last night - it took 6 hours but in the end they drained 6 litres of fluid! That's 3 large coke bottles!!! Not surprising that he was in pain bless him.
I have just spoken to him this morning and again unsurprisingly he is rather sore and now has a lovely 5 cm incision in his tummy but at least he now doesn't look like he's having triplets!! He won't be out today as they want him to rest and recuperate but should be out tomorrow all being well.
Thanks for checking in - have a blessed Sunday!
PS Many thanks to all who have offered help both practically and through prayer. Please be assured that we ask for help when we need to and it's great to know that you're all there to lean on.
Florence xx
Just a quick update - they came to drain the fluid from around David's stomach at around 8 pm last night - it took 6 hours but in the end they drained 6 litres of fluid! That's 3 large coke bottles!!! Not surprising that he was in pain bless him.
I have just spoken to him this morning and again unsurprisingly he is rather sore and now has a lovely 5 cm incision in his tummy but at least he now doesn't look like he's having triplets!! He won't be out today as they want him to rest and recuperate but should be out tomorrow all being well.
Thanks for checking in - have a blessed Sunday!
PS Many thanks to all who have offered help both practically and through prayer. Please be assured that we ask for help when we need to and it's great to know that you're all there to lean on.
Florence xx
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Tough times ahead...
Hi all
Thanks for checking in again and thanks for all the texts and phone calls I have had already today from friends and family - your love and support make such a difference...as I write this the tears which I have been holding onto for the last couple of hours are finally coming and I feel better for it. Well...let me tell you the latest news..David is now on Elizabeth ward again and is a bit more settled although still very uncomfortable and desperate to get the catheter and the nose tube out. The pain however is now under control as is the sickness.
He had the scan this morning and the good news is that this has shown a large amount of fluid surrounding David's stomach which they are going to drain off using a large needle and local anaesthetic which although nasty will make him far more comfortable and ease the pain. Once he is feeling better he can come home which may even be tomorrow!!
The bad news is the cause of all this fluid build up. It seems that the nasty little bits of cancer cells have now spread to the bowel/around the bowel - apparently its difficult to tell to what extent as the fluid is in the way but trying to get a clear answer is tricky (I am learning that when they are vague its generally not good!). Hopefully on Monday we will get some straight answers from Dr Bulusi, however David is booked in to start chemo again either this week or next so with God's grace this will have the desired effect and shrink everything back down again.
It's tough to take as bad news always is...but it just means we have another fight on our hands and though the mountain does seem a bit higher and a bit steeper than it did a few months ago we ain't going to stop climbing and that's a Florence pledge to everyone including my beloved husband. So...no more tears...bring it on!!
Thanks again for being there guys
xx
Thanks for checking in again and thanks for all the texts and phone calls I have had already today from friends and family - your love and support make such a difference...as I write this the tears which I have been holding onto for the last couple of hours are finally coming and I feel better for it. Well...let me tell you the latest news..David is now on Elizabeth ward again and is a bit more settled although still very uncomfortable and desperate to get the catheter and the nose tube out. The pain however is now under control as is the sickness.
He had the scan this morning and the good news is that this has shown a large amount of fluid surrounding David's stomach which they are going to drain off using a large needle and local anaesthetic which although nasty will make him far more comfortable and ease the pain. Once he is feeling better he can come home which may even be tomorrow!!
The bad news is the cause of all this fluid build up. It seems that the nasty little bits of cancer cells have now spread to the bowel/around the bowel - apparently its difficult to tell to what extent as the fluid is in the way but trying to get a clear answer is tricky (I am learning that when they are vague its generally not good!). Hopefully on Monday we will get some straight answers from Dr Bulusi, however David is booked in to start chemo again either this week or next so with God's grace this will have the desired effect and shrink everything back down again.
It's tough to take as bad news always is...but it just means we have another fight on our hands and though the mountain does seem a bit higher and a bit steeper than it did a few months ago we ain't going to stop climbing and that's a Florence pledge to everyone including my beloved husband. So...no more tears...bring it on!!
Thanks again for being there guys
xx
Never a dull moment........
Good morning all and welcome to a Florence blog
Firstly I woke up this morning at around 7am (on my own...will explain in a minute...) to the most beautiful day as I imagine most of you reading this also did. We have had such a rough few days that it made me cry to see such a peaceful, glorious morning with the birds singing and the sun shining - it's been a tough winter hasn't it...let's hope for sunnier times ahead...
Anyway after a few gorgeous peaceful and happy days in our beloved France where we did all the stuff we really enjoy like taking the dog on long walks and playing Rummikub with the kids David started to feel unwell. He had been very happy and well and eating normally, however his stomach became extremely swollen and hard and he started having some severe pains in the top of his stomach. David being David wanted to hang on and see the doctor on our return on Monday (12th) but on Wednesday night he started being sick and when I saw the blood in it I knew we had to get home asap. Here is where French protocol comes into play. We have to have the dog checked by a vet and injected for rabies or ticks (or something) between 24 and 48 hours before we can return home. No amount of me phoning the vet at 3 am on Thursday morning - (which I did - you know me once I get the bit between my teeth!!!) and pleading was going to change the situation and the vet refused to bend the rules for us. So the best I could do was get her down to the vets at 8 am for the injection which then saw us changing our sailing to the first one on Friday morning which was from Caen.
I therefore then set about booking a hotel in Caen which takes dogs and kids and sick husbands - (very rare but found one in the end) and packing up and cleaning the cottage (whilst David slept...and slept...and was sick...and slept....) with the kids help and driving 4 hours up to Caen. David slept the whole way and the whole of the night but woke up on Friday in a lot of pain. Speaking to David's nurse we were very concerned that something had ruptured or burst in his bowel and he was also getting severly dehydrated. However by grit and determination we got him on the boat and sailed home! After a smooth crossing where we spent an extra 50p on a good cabin (Nick and Sarah - that one's for you!!) he managed to sleep most of the way.
On arriving in Portsmouth we made the dash for home only to be foiled by accidents and roadworks on the M25, M1 and A421 so by the time we made it straight to the acute admissions unit where they were already expecting him David was a wreck and so was I to be honest.
1 hour later he was on painkillers, anti sickness medication and had had an x ray and been seen by the surgical team who established that he had not ruptured anything ( thank goodness!) but had some blockage in his bowel which they couldn't see the cause of so they need to give him a scan to find out what is happening. Having catherterised him and given him a nose tube to drain off some of the fluid in his stomach I left him last night still on acute admissions being observed but a lot more comfortable. The title of this blog is the comment I made to him as I left...I did jokingly say I was thinking of having a tattoo done in honour of our 24th wedding anniversary which in on Monday!!!
I think the scan will be this morning and I am obviously heading down there later to see how things are going and will give you an update as soon as I know anything.
In closing I just want to say a huge thanks to Chloe who dropped her plans last night to pick up Dave's painkillers from the doctors and meet us at the hospital to take the kids and dog home and most especially to my amazing, wonderful children, James and Carys who were complete stars the whole time this was happening. I could not have managed without their help and support from beginning to end. I am so proud of both of them and especially James who gave me so many hugs and told me it would be alright but also helped out practically in so many ways without complaint...thankyou son.
Have a wonderful day all...enjoy the sunshine
Florence x
Firstly I woke up this morning at around 7am (on my own...will explain in a minute...) to the most beautiful day as I imagine most of you reading this also did. We have had such a rough few days that it made me cry to see such a peaceful, glorious morning with the birds singing and the sun shining - it's been a tough winter hasn't it...let's hope for sunnier times ahead...
Anyway after a few gorgeous peaceful and happy days in our beloved France where we did all the stuff we really enjoy like taking the dog on long walks and playing Rummikub with the kids David started to feel unwell. He had been very happy and well and eating normally, however his stomach became extremely swollen and hard and he started having some severe pains in the top of his stomach. David being David wanted to hang on and see the doctor on our return on Monday (12th) but on Wednesday night he started being sick and when I saw the blood in it I knew we had to get home asap. Here is where French protocol comes into play. We have to have the dog checked by a vet and injected for rabies or ticks (or something) between 24 and 48 hours before we can return home. No amount of me phoning the vet at 3 am on Thursday morning - (which I did - you know me once I get the bit between my teeth!!!) and pleading was going to change the situation and the vet refused to bend the rules for us. So the best I could do was get her down to the vets at 8 am for the injection which then saw us changing our sailing to the first one on Friday morning which was from Caen.
I therefore then set about booking a hotel in Caen which takes dogs and kids and sick husbands - (very rare but found one in the end) and packing up and cleaning the cottage (whilst David slept...and slept...and was sick...and slept....) with the kids help and driving 4 hours up to Caen. David slept the whole way and the whole of the night but woke up on Friday in a lot of pain. Speaking to David's nurse we were very concerned that something had ruptured or burst in his bowel and he was also getting severly dehydrated. However by grit and determination we got him on the boat and sailed home! After a smooth crossing where we spent an extra 50p on a good cabin (Nick and Sarah - that one's for you!!) he managed to sleep most of the way.
On arriving in Portsmouth we made the dash for home only to be foiled by accidents and roadworks on the M25, M1 and A421 so by the time we made it straight to the acute admissions unit where they were already expecting him David was a wreck and so was I to be honest.
1 hour later he was on painkillers, anti sickness medication and had had an x ray and been seen by the surgical team who established that he had not ruptured anything ( thank goodness!) but had some blockage in his bowel which they couldn't see the cause of so they need to give him a scan to find out what is happening. Having catherterised him and given him a nose tube to drain off some of the fluid in his stomach I left him last night still on acute admissions being observed but a lot more comfortable. The title of this blog is the comment I made to him as I left...I did jokingly say I was thinking of having a tattoo done in honour of our 24th wedding anniversary which in on Monday!!!
I think the scan will be this morning and I am obviously heading down there later to see how things are going and will give you an update as soon as I know anything.
In closing I just want to say a huge thanks to Chloe who dropped her plans last night to pick up Dave's painkillers from the doctors and meet us at the hospital to take the kids and dog home and most especially to my amazing, wonderful children, James and Carys who were complete stars the whole time this was happening. I could not have managed without their help and support from beginning to end. I am so proud of both of them and especially James who gave me so many hugs and told me it would be alright but also helped out practically in so many ways without complaint...thankyou son.
Have a wonderful day all...enjoy the sunshine
Florence x
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