OK. God had felt a little distant recently. Not in a worrying way, just in a classic 'journey of faith way'. You know (or perhaps you don't), sometimes His presence is with you tangibly 24/7 sometimes you just feel as though He's around but busy on 'other business'. I know that this is theological nonsense, God is omnipresent (everywhere) and omnipotent (all powerful) so it's me that's moved away from God not the other way round. Any way God has been intervening in my life in wonderful gentle ways over the last couple of days. If you don't believe in an interventionist God you are quite simply wrong. Sorry but there we go. Wise up! Let me share....
I was preaching at a church in our Methodist Circuit on Sunday the church is nearly 100% Asian and always a pleasure to visit. The lead steward (elder) came to me after the service and with tears pouring down his face told me that he was convinced of my healing. Now this is is not an unusual thing to be told by well meaning charismatic Christians but his 'assurance' came with a prophecy or word of knowledge. He said I would survive so that I could finish what my Grandfather couldn't do. My Grandfather was a committed christian and planning to go to Cliff College (the bible college I attend) after the war. He was killed a few days after 'D' day and is buried in Normandy. I don't recall talking about this at this particular church. If I have then it was still a timely reminder of God's faithfulness throughout the generations.
Second bizarre experience was this morning. I ran out of some of my tablets and needed to go and get some more from the GP. As I was entering the surgery a couple of carers were bringing in a severely disabled lad (about 16) he was quite vocal and shouting. He beckoned me over to him and quite strangely placed his hand right over my oesophagus and looked me straight in the eyes. He carers apologised, I explain my health problems, they were freaked out. They said that he often 'knew' about these things. I felt strangely re-assured and peaceful.
I am nervous about tomorrow, very stressed in fact. I've sort of convinced myself that it's back. I want to lecture myself about faith and positive mental attitude but sort of feel a lack of both at the moment. Can't believe that it is as simple as that and feel the need to be honest at least though the blog. I'm looking forward to being proved wrong.
Jade's death is sobering. At diagnosis I would have been overjoyed to have the life expectancy they gave her; mine's never been 40%. Her struggle was so public. I suppose seeing a public figure, young with everything to live for loose their battle just makes you think. Eekkk...
I'll blog with the news tomorrow. We'll be in Ireland by then. I'll keep posting as we travel around the Emerald isle on Kip McGrath business.
Sorry if I've been a bit 'heavy'. Stick in there with me won't you?
Dave
Monday, March 23, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Paranoid Android
OK Guys
Tell me I'm paranoid! I phoned my Upper GI nurse on Friday to see if had results. She said not (I've no real reason to doubt her) but she has booked me in to see the Upper GI consultant on Tuesday at 11.00. Just feels ominous. She sounded 'down'. I'm worried. Normally she would give me results over the phone and to be fair both she and my oncologist are away next week but still??
Any hows - I'm being paranoid aren't I???
Dave
Tell me I'm paranoid! I phoned my Upper GI nurse on Friday to see if had results. She said not (I've no real reason to doubt her) but she has booked me in to see the Upper GI consultant on Tuesday at 11.00. Just feels ominous. She sounded 'down'. I'm worried. Normally she would give me results over the phone and to be fair both she and my oncologist are away next week but still??
Any hows - I'm being paranoid aren't I???
Dave
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sedation Snoooooooooze....
Hi Guys
Well, the sedation worked this time and I slept soundly through the whole endoscope thing. They got the camera past my oesophagus and into my stomach which is a good sign. They did find a 'patch' which they weren't too happy with and have taken yet another biopsy. Hoping it is just radiation burn and nothing nastier. The waiting for results is a killer.
Went to Brighton yesterday on Kip business; it was packed. The beach was full of people and it was really warm - can it only be March? Off to Glasgow tomorrow to run a seminar. It's good to keep busy if you're waiting for news! If the news is bad I'm retiring - seriously I couldn't work through chemo. Hopefully all will be well. Might get the results tomorrow, if not it will be next week when I'm off to Ireland (Republic and North) with Teresa. Keep praying for me.
I'm leading the youth group (as a guest speaker) at Lidlington Church tonight; they are our sister church in the next village to Wootton. I'm preaching at Southend Methodist in Bedford on Sunday morning.
I'll post again as soon as I have news.
Dave
Well, the sedation worked this time and I slept soundly through the whole endoscope thing. They got the camera past my oesophagus and into my stomach which is a good sign. They did find a 'patch' which they weren't too happy with and have taken yet another biopsy. Hoping it is just radiation burn and nothing nastier. The waiting for results is a killer.
Went to Brighton yesterday on Kip business; it was packed. The beach was full of people and it was really warm - can it only be March? Off to Glasgow tomorrow to run a seminar. It's good to keep busy if you're waiting for news! If the news is bad I'm retiring - seriously I couldn't work through chemo. Hopefully all will be well. Might get the results tomorrow, if not it will be next week when I'm off to Ireland (Republic and North) with Teresa. Keep praying for me.
I'm leading the youth group (as a guest speaker) at Lidlington Church tonight; they are our sister church in the next village to Wootton. I'm preaching at Southend Methodist in Bedford on Sunday morning.
I'll post again as soon as I have news.
Dave
Monday, March 16, 2009
Thought For The Day
My blogs are like buses. None for ages, then a glut! Any-how isn't spring just fantastic, can't tell you how wonderful it see my second since that bloody diagnosis. Here's to many more to come!
I've got a few business trips this week I'm in Brighton on Wednesday and Glasgow on Friday other than that things are quite quiet. Going to take the train to Brighton and the plane to Glasgow - international traveller me. Nervous about tomorrow's test but I'm sure it will be OK!
My blog entitled 'Getting There' where I ramble on in support of my wife made her very nervous. She was worried that those I was writing about would read it. Well, I name no names ,but if the cap fits ......
Got thinking about friends today and how grateful Teresa and I have been for the support of everyone at WNL, to Sarah & Nick and John & Amanda. Thanks for standing with us through the good moments and the tricky. John is especially faithful having encountered me at my worse made even worse by some booze. Not a moment I'm proud of! Who actually won the fight? You'll be pleased to know mate that I'm much more held together now. Honest. No really I am!! Real friends stick with you don't they! Thanks guys.
Well better get a bit of work done.
Luv
Dave xx
I've got a few business trips this week I'm in Brighton on Wednesday and Glasgow on Friday other than that things are quite quiet. Going to take the train to Brighton and the plane to Glasgow - international traveller me. Nervous about tomorrow's test but I'm sure it will be OK!
My blog entitled 'Getting There' where I ramble on in support of my wife made her very nervous. She was worried that those I was writing about would read it. Well, I name no names ,but if the cap fits ......
Got thinking about friends today and how grateful Teresa and I have been for the support of everyone at WNL, to Sarah & Nick and John & Amanda. Thanks for standing with us through the good moments and the tricky. John is especially faithful having encountered me at my worse made even worse by some booze. Not a moment I'm proud of! Who actually won the fight? You'll be pleased to know mate that I'm much more held together now. Honest. No really I am!! Real friends stick with you don't they! Thanks guys.
Well better get a bit of work done.
Luv
Dave xx
Sunday, March 15, 2009
And I Think to Myself - What A Wonderful Day
Bunked off church today! I confess the lure of the garden was simply too much. It now looks like Kew. Perfect. We had lunch at the Bell (pub opposite our house) and snoozed away the afternoon. Even managed to clean out the dreaded goldfish tank - my life is complete!!
Weather was impossibly lovely; really warm had a glass of wine on the deck.
I'll keep you updated on the Tuesday 'camera down the throat' job.
See ya
Dave
Weather was impossibly lovely; really warm had a glass of wine on the deck.
I'll keep you updated on the Tuesday 'camera down the throat' job.
See ya
Dave
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Getting There
Hi All,
Feeling much better this week; positive brain chemicals have kicked in again (thank goodness!). I have the endoscopy on Tuesday afternoon - I always have the sedation because I'm a wuss. I'll let you know how it goes. Swallowing is unchanged - worse than it once was but better than it was it was originally! Keep praying; it works.
Teresa is running around the country like a mad-women; she works so hard......she cares passionately about what she does and suffers more than her fair share of narked people having a go. Not quite sure why they feel the need to take their frustrations out so negatively on her. It's not the frustrations that are the problem (they come with the territory) it's the manner in which are they are delivered. The sad thing is that she is 100% genuine in her desire to help others make a go of their business as we have ours. She really is a tough cookie. During the past year she has built the business, been promoted into a national role, been a great mum, organised a wonderful wedding and nursed a terminally ill husband. Nothing scares her or daunts her and I'm so proud of all she is and does!
Amy (our eldest daughter) is a real hero too (chip off her mum's block) and has helped us tremendously since she has been on our full-time staff. In fact all our staff are great - thanks to you for all your support and care.
Spring really is in the air isn't it? Had my hedges trimmed yesterday. Resisting the temptation to say that I had my bush trimmed as it's only just started growing again! Lawn gets it first mow today; the garden centre beckons. I'm not preaching this Sunday so we'll be a WNL as a family in the morning and then in the garden in the afternoon as the forecast is so good. Might even get Rachel Louise (my boat) back in the river soon - they are overhauling the engine as the moment and she's had her bottom scraped.
Well guys, once more thanks for checking up on me - it's great to know that so many people are thinking of us.
If anyone is at loose end this Sunday morning come and join us at Wootton - great Church; no one sings like Methodists! Directions at http://www.newlifechurchwootton.org.uk/.
Well guys signing off now.
Luv
Dave
Feeling much better this week; positive brain chemicals have kicked in again (thank goodness!). I have the endoscopy on Tuesday afternoon - I always have the sedation because I'm a wuss. I'll let you know how it goes. Swallowing is unchanged - worse than it once was but better than it was it was originally! Keep praying; it works.
Teresa is running around the country like a mad-women; she works so hard......she cares passionately about what she does and suffers more than her fair share of narked people having a go. Not quite sure why they feel the need to take their frustrations out so negatively on her. It's not the frustrations that are the problem (they come with the territory) it's the manner in which are they are delivered. The sad thing is that she is 100% genuine in her desire to help others make a go of their business as we have ours. She really is a tough cookie. During the past year she has built the business, been promoted into a national role, been a great mum, organised a wonderful wedding and nursed a terminally ill husband. Nothing scares her or daunts her and I'm so proud of all she is and does!
Amy (our eldest daughter) is a real hero too (chip off her mum's block) and has helped us tremendously since she has been on our full-time staff. In fact all our staff are great - thanks to you for all your support and care.
Spring really is in the air isn't it? Had my hedges trimmed yesterday. Resisting the temptation to say that I had my bush trimmed as it's only just started growing again! Lawn gets it first mow today; the garden centre beckons. I'm not preaching this Sunday so we'll be a WNL as a family in the morning and then in the garden in the afternoon as the forecast is so good. Might even get Rachel Louise (my boat) back in the river soon - they are overhauling the engine as the moment and she's had her bottom scraped.
Well guys, once more thanks for checking up on me - it's great to know that so many people are thinking of us.
If anyone is at loose end this Sunday morning come and join us at Wootton - great Church; no one sings like Methodists! Directions at http://www.newlifechurchwootton.org.uk/.
Well guys signing off now.
Luv
Dave
Friday, March 6, 2009
Spring Has Sprung!
WOW - the sun actually feels warm! Just taken Rosie (the dog) around the lake and it really feels like spring; at last!
Feeling quite 'strange' still, swallowing remains a bit 'sticky'. Trying to stay pos but it has not been a good week on that front to be honest. Cup seems to be half empty at the moment - not like me at all!
Not a lot more to report.
Luv
Dave
Feeling quite 'strange' still, swallowing remains a bit 'sticky'. Trying to stay pos but it has not been a good week on that front to be honest. Cup seems to be half empty at the moment - not like me at all!
Not a lot more to report.
Luv
Dave
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