Thursday It Is!

Hi All

Well my oncologist and Macmillan nurse are back from their travels today and I'm booked into see them on Thursday @ 4.00 p.m.. Seems like a million years away but I know that it's not really! Obviously I remain quite anxious - must keep busy! I have a Kip Seminar tonight, some training design to complete for Teresa tomorrow and a day at Cliff College on Wednesday so I'm sure time will fly.

Church was refreshing on Sunday - Teresa and I are leading and preaching next Sunday. We are celebrating Passover at XLR8 on Tuesday.

Only a week to go until Dubai - getting excited and certainly going regardless of when the chemo starts again.

Jackie - sorry to hear about your loss; our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Thanks as always for checking in on me and caring.

God Bless

Dave

Coming To Terms - It's A Notso Bad!

Well my friends slowly coming to terms with the thought of facing the battle again. Some facts:

1. I was only given 9-12 months (on average) to live last January and here I am in month 15.
2. I have had a number of scans since where they could find nothing - Praise God!
3. I am feeling quite well, no pain, can still swallow and the miseries are lifting.
4. I am generally fit so in a good place to fight.
5. We are doing OK so don't have to worry about finances, jobs etc. (like so many do - bless em).
6. I have the support of a fantastic wife, great family and wonderful church at WNL.
7. The worse that can happen for a Christian is complete victory. Seriously death holds NO fear whatsoever. By the way I have no intention of croaking it just yet but of course I've thought about it. We sing a song at Church which goes like this... There's a place where the streets shine with the glory of the lamb, there's a way we can go there we can live beyond time... no more pain, so more suffering, no more sadness, no more tears, no more sin, no more sickness, no injustice no more death, because of YOU (meaning Jesus of course!).

So, as the song goes 'always look on the bright side of life' - off for a full Ulster Fry Up (breakfast) and certainly a pint or two of Guinness.

What out Derry; here we come!!

Luv

Dave

Tour De Eire!

Well we landed in Cork on Tuesday, drove to Killarney on Wednesday and then up to Galway and today all the way from Galway to Londonderry. WOW; what fantastic scenery on the west cost; mountains, valleys and surf! We have driven through rain, hail, sleet and sun and enjoyed five rainbows along the way. The rainbow is a great reminder of a God who keeps His promises.

I'm beginning to get everything into perspective now - keen to get the chemo underway ASAP and keep the blighter in my oesophagus and nowhere else. It's not easy thinking about starting again but, life is worth fighting for. I'm not sure if it is psycological or not but I'm not feeling too good at present very 'tight' in the chest depratment. Got to see my oncologist on Monday if I have to wait all day!!

Thank-you to those who have posted comments (Sian, Jackie, Jane) and all those who would if they could work out how to!

We are heading back on Saturday after a regional meeting for Ulster.

Well guys.. thanks again. Trying to keep positive.

Luv

Dave

Oh !##***!!!***~ & BLAST....

Thanks Amy for updating everyone earlier....

Yep guys, there's a new, fresh and horrible looking viscous little sod of a white speckled tumour in my oesophagus - at least I can see the little bugger (on the endoscopy pic) and so my visualisation techniques can be based on reality. They are not sure if it's totally new or an old 'patch' they missed before but whatever it is certainly growing (for the first time) and malignant. Not good. However, you know me Mr Positive Pants (actually fine new ridiculously expensive Calvin Klein pants) and 'better the devil you know'. At least there can be a focus to the fight now. We are, in reality back to square one. In essence we face battle # 2 and I'm up for the fight - bring it on your miserable bitch! OK, rant over - needs loads of prayer from my Christian brothers and sisters and any other incantations, positive energy and good vibes from those of other faiths and non. Please.

This is the first negative news since my healing in Stockholm last April which was nearly 12 months ago. Baring in mind the original prognosis of 9-12 months (on average) this is in actuality quite positive.

I knew it was back. Just read my last few blogs. Why? Well physical changes as my swallowing got worse and (as with the first time) psychological changes, yep I just got depressed - I suppose as body chemicals screwed up the balance in my brain. I am reassured that the Lord cares and is with me. I have no doubt about that! Not looking forward to more chemo; apart from anything else I had grown quite fond of my hair again. I will, of course take any treatment I'm offered no matter how ill it makes me feel (and trust me it does).

On a serious note (there are few things more serious than holidays) as we are in Dubai for Easter so our cottage in Brittany is available (for free apart from a clean and a lawn mow) for any regular blog reader we know. We might go for the final weekend of the Easter holidays but it is available for the week before Easter and the Easter weekend itself. We love to bless by letting people use 'Ty Carys' for free so just let us know. We can book you a ferry on our Property Owners card for a little bit less than it will cost you normally.

We arrived in Ireland on Tuesday flying into Cork and stopped there last night. We visited a Kip McGrath centre there this morning and then drove to Killarney for another visit. Then... on to Galway. Mad itinerary but fantastic countryside, good food and great service in the hotels. Tomorrow after a Galway visit we have to drive to Derry in Northern Ireland. We have centre visits in Derry on Friday and a regional meeting for Northern Ireland on Saturday before flying back.

Some mad things I want to do..... see a live performance of Handel's Messiah in London, dance till the early hours, create the perfect garden, spend a lot of time on Rachel Louise (my boat in case you were wondering) and go to the cottage in France a lot. Also really looking forward to Dubai; we go two weeks today.

OK guys. Think that's all. Keep praying and crossing any body part you've got (where that's possible).

Want to thank Sian, Chloe and Geoff H as well as Nick & Sarah, John & Amanda, everyone at WNL and my family for their ongoing support. Of course Teresa (AKA Florence) is my #1 supporter, nurse, companion and hero!

See you guys, God Bless - thanks for being there for me.

Luv

Dave

Bad News

Hi Everyone.

Dad is away this week in Ireland with KipMcGrath so he's asked me to give a breif update.
Yesterday Mum and Dad went to have a consultation with the doctor after his endoscopy showed up some tissue that they took a biopsy of last week. Unfortunately it's bad news. The tissue is infact the tumor back again. It is Maligant which obviously is a bit if a blow and very disappointing.

Not sure yet about the treatment and where to go from here until they've had a few more appointments with the oncologist and nurse etc but its not looking good.

But as always my wonderful pops is very positive and is looking up and I know that he will just continue to be an amazing witness to everyone , not only of healing but of his strength and positivity.

Please continue to pray for us as I know you all do, especially to stay strong in the second round. Bring it on!

Dad will post tonight and go into more detail if he can.

Love to all
Amy

WARNING.... God at work....

OK. God had felt a little distant recently. Not in a worrying way, just in a classic 'journey of faith way'. You know (or perhaps you don't), sometimes His presence is with you tangibly 24/7 sometimes you just feel as though He's around but busy on 'other business'. I know that this is theological nonsense, God is omnipresent (everywhere) and omnipotent (all powerful) so it's me that's moved away from God not the other way round. Any way God has been intervening in my life in wonderful gentle ways over the last couple of days. If you don't believe in an interventionist God you are quite simply wrong. Sorry but there we go. Wise up! Let me share....
I was preaching at a church in our Methodist Circuit on Sunday the church is nearly 100% Asian and always a pleasure to visit. The lead steward (elder) came to me after the service and with tears pouring down his face told me that he was convinced of my healing. Now this is is not an unusual thing to be told by well meaning charismatic Christians but his 'assurance' came with a prophecy or word of knowledge. He said I would survive so that I could finish what my Grandfather couldn't do. My Grandfather was a committed christian and planning to go to Cliff College (the bible college I attend) after the war. He was killed a few days after 'D' day and is buried in Normandy. I don't recall talking about this at this particular church. If I have then it was still a timely reminder of God's faithfulness throughout the generations.

Second bizarre experience was this morning. I ran out of some of my tablets and needed to go and get some more from the GP. As I was entering the surgery a couple of carers were bringing in a severely disabled lad (about 16) he was quite vocal and shouting. He beckoned me over to him and quite strangely placed his hand right over my oesophagus and looked me straight in the eyes. He carers apologised, I explain my health problems, they were freaked out. They said that he often 'knew' about these things. I felt strangely re-assured and peaceful.

I am nervous about tomorrow, very stressed in fact. I've sort of convinced myself that it's back. I want to lecture myself about faith and positive mental attitude but sort of feel a lack of both at the moment. Can't believe that it is as simple as that and feel the need to be honest at least though the blog. I'm looking forward to being proved wrong.

Jade's death is sobering. At diagnosis I would have been overjoyed to have the life expectancy they gave her; mine's never been 40%. Her struggle was so public. I suppose seeing a public figure, young with everything to live for loose their battle just makes you think. Eekkk...

I'll blog with the news tomorrow. We'll be in Ireland by then. I'll keep posting as we travel around the Emerald isle on Kip McGrath business.

Sorry if I've been a bit 'heavy'. Stick in there with me won't you?

Dave

Paranoid Android

OK Guys

Tell me I'm paranoid! I phoned my Upper GI nurse on Friday to see if had results. She said not (I've no real reason to doubt her) but she has booked me in to see the Upper GI consultant on Tuesday at 11.00. Just feels ominous. She sounded 'down'. I'm worried. Normally she would give me results over the phone and to be fair both she and my oncologist are away next week but still??

Any hows - I'm being paranoid aren't I???

Dave

Sedation Snoooooooooze....

Hi Guys

Well, the sedation worked this time and I slept soundly through the whole endoscope thing. They got the camera past my oesophagus and into my stomach which is a good sign. They did find a 'patch' which they weren't too happy with and have taken yet another biopsy. Hoping it is just radiation burn and nothing nastier. The waiting for results is a killer.

Went to Brighton yesterday on Kip business; it was packed. The beach was full of people and it was really warm - can it only be March? Off to Glasgow tomorrow to run a seminar. It's good to keep busy if you're waiting for news! If the news is bad I'm retiring - seriously I couldn't work through chemo. Hopefully all will be well. Might get the results tomorrow, if not it will be next week when I'm off to Ireland (Republic and North) with Teresa. Keep praying for me.

I'm leading the youth group (as a guest speaker) at Lidlington Church tonight; they are our sister church in the next village to Wootton. I'm preaching at Southend Methodist in Bedford on Sunday morning.

I'll post again as soon as I have news.

Dave

Thought For The Day

My blogs are like buses. None for ages, then a glut! Any-how isn't spring just fantastic, can't tell you how wonderful it see my second since that bloody diagnosis. Here's to many more to come!

I've got a few business trips this week I'm in Brighton on Wednesday and Glasgow on Friday other than that things are quite quiet. Going to take the train to Brighton and the plane to Glasgow - international traveller me. Nervous about tomorrow's test but I'm sure it will be OK!

My blog entitled 'Getting There' where I ramble on in support of my wife made her very nervous. She was worried that those I was writing about would read it. Well, I name no names ,but if the cap fits ......

Got thinking about friends today and how grateful Teresa and I have been for the support of everyone at WNL, to Sarah & Nick and John & Amanda. Thanks for standing with us through the good moments and the tricky. John is especially faithful having encountered me at my worse made even worse by some booze. Not a moment I'm proud of! Who actually won the fight? You'll be pleased to know mate that I'm much more held together now. Honest. No really I am!! Real friends stick with you don't they! Thanks guys.

Well better get a bit of work done.

Luv

Dave xx

And I Think to Myself - What A Wonderful Day

Bunked off church today! I confess the lure of the garden was simply too much. It now looks like Kew. Perfect. We had lunch at the Bell (pub opposite our house) and snoozed away the afternoon. Even managed to clean out the dreaded goldfish tank - my life is complete!!

Weather was impossibly lovely; really warm had a glass of wine on the deck.

I'll keep you updated on the Tuesday 'camera down the throat' job.

See ya

Dave

Getting There

Hi All,

Feeling much better this week; positive brain chemicals have kicked in again (thank goodness!). I have the endoscopy on Tuesday afternoon - I always have the sedation because I'm a wuss. I'll let you know how it goes. Swallowing is unchanged - worse than it once was but better than it was it was originally! Keep praying; it works.

Teresa is running around the country like a mad-women; she works so hard......she cares passionately about what she does and suffers more than her fair share of narked people having a go. Not quite sure why they feel the need to take their frustrations out so negatively on her. It's not the frustrations that are the problem (they come with the territory) it's the manner in which are they are delivered. The sad thing is that she is 100% genuine in her desire to help others make a go of their business as we have ours. She really is a tough cookie. During the past year she has built the business, been promoted into a national role, been a great mum, organised a wonderful wedding and nursed a terminally ill husband. Nothing scares her or daunts her and I'm so proud of all she is and does!

Amy (our eldest daughter) is a real hero too (chip off her mum's block) and has helped us tremendously since she has been on our full-time staff. In fact all our staff are great - thanks to you for all your support and care.

Spring really is in the air isn't it? Had my hedges trimmed yesterday. Resisting the temptation to say that I had my bush trimmed as it's only just started growing again! Lawn gets it first mow today; the garden centre beckons. I'm not preaching this Sunday so we'll be a WNL as a family in the morning and then in the garden in the afternoon as the forecast is so good. Might even get Rachel Louise (my boat) back in the river soon - they are overhauling the engine as the moment and she's had her bottom scraped.

Well guys, once more thanks for checking up on me - it's great to know that so many people are thinking of us.

If anyone is at loose end this Sunday morning come and join us at Wootton - great Church; no one sings like Methodists! Directions at http://www.newlifechurchwootton.org.uk/.

Well guys signing off now.

Luv

Dave

Spring Has Sprung!

WOW - the sun actually feels warm! Just taken Rosie (the dog) around the lake and it really feels like spring; at last!

Feeling quite 'strange' still, swallowing remains a bit 'sticky'. Trying to stay pos but it has not been a good week on that front to be honest. Cup seems to be half empty at the moment - not like me at all!

Not a lot more to report.

Luv

Dave

UPDATE

Hi Troops,

Last week was a bit 'mad' - had a few Kip trips including Aylesbury, Dublin & Leeds. Also had a tutorial with my Cliff supervisor for the MPhil. Preached twice on Sunday too. In the morning the subject was Noah and in the evening (at the Refresh meeting) I spoke on building Church today (pet theme of mine). It is great to see Refresh growing, a few years ago we were getting a handful but now with our friends from Marston Vale Community Church and Liddlington we gather a really good number - great worship lead by Suzy and Dave at both services - thanks!

Feel a bit 'odd' at the moment. Swallowing is not good and I'm struggling (for once) to stay positive. I have an endoscopy booked but not until the 17th March although I am on the short-list for cancellations. My chest just feels strange - could be psychosomatic; could just be radiation damage, hopefully nothing worse! Of course I'll keep you in the loop.

In a bid to continue enjoying life we've booked a week in Dubai at Easter - love the place. It is hedonistic, shallow and tacky. Perfect for a holiday! Seriously need some sun and shopping therapy on a constant basis and Dubai is just the ticket - Carys and James are getting excited - we are going to 'swim with Dolphins', go on the sunset dune safari and visit all those enormous temples to decadence - the designer malls! Got to both diet a little before we go!!

Have a thanksgiving service to attend this afternoon for Alan Ponting, a friend from Church (and previous minister at WNL). He had been battling with a horrible, degenerative brain disease and passed away two weeks ago. He and his wife Pat were so brave. I had the privilege of leading a communion service with him at our Launde Abbey retreat weekend two years ago - he was a wonderful man - a real gracious saint; we shall miss him.

Please keep the prayers up and, if you not a prayer person I'll take all the positive vibes you can spare in my direction! Thank-you for checking in.

Luv

Dave