A Few Thoughts From Teresa..

Woke up this morning and had the sensation that God was instantly speaking to me and felt I had to capture it.

We’ve had (and are having) a wonderful week in France. It’s been wonderful and relaxing and peaceful – lots of sunshine and rest and too much good food!!

Although I don’t know what the next few weeks or months will bring I know it may be difficult to bear. I may have to watch my husband and my family suffer as we go through this process. But God is with us. He walks with us through it and he wants to teach us so much through it. The way that God refines us is with fire. Fire burns, it hurts, it’s unbearable at times. The purpose of the fire is that when we are in the midst of it it brings all the dross to the surface and it evaporates in the heat, leaving something more pure in its place, more beautiful.

A couple of weeks ago during the worship at church I had a picture. I had just blown up a large red balloon, giving all my energy in blowing it up, only to see it pop and explode in an instant. Our lives can change in a heartbeat, and I wonder what we are left with when that happens. The thing that struck me about that picture is that, no matter how hard you try, you can’t ever put that balloon back together again.

When we go through suffering hopefully we draw near to God. In his presence we become acutely aware of all the stuff in our lives which is useless, or sinful, or just plain ugly. These things that we ‘coat’ ourselves with suddenly become almost repulsive to us. We are appalled by the status we have given them. They are meaningless – dross, and they shouldn’t have any part in our lives.

When we go through difficult times what becomes important is, to quote the film, Love, Actually. That’s all. Love in all its forms. It’s such a powerful force and it can ‘overcome all things’ even death. That’s the simple truth. We don't 'lose' love even though we may lose some of the things or the people that we love. We can't hold on to anything or any person forever, but we can love them forever. It's eternal.

The fire changes us. It should change us. I need to change. I don’t like the person I was. I want to be a ‘purer’ reflection of my maker.

A few weeks ago I woke from a dream that had lasted through Christmas and New Year and found myself sitting alone in the lovely little chapel at Addenbrookes, praying for David as he had his laproscopy.

I began to sob as I suddenly realised how all our lives had been turned upside down and would probably never be the same again.

A lovely lady, one of the chaplains came and prayed with me that day. She spoke words of grace and comfort. She didn’t say much about herself except that her life had been touched by cancer and that she now spent much of her life counselling families where a child had been diagnosed with cancer. The fire had changed her, had made her alter her priorities, her life. I hope and pray that whatever the challenges ahead, that I will be altered and be given opportunities to demonstrate God’s grace and love.

Thanks for all your support. Love Teresa.