Time to 'fess-up'. I had my first serious blubber last night. Until last night I'd held it all in. It's being here. Worked my way through half a box of Kleenex. We love this cottage so much and had so many hopes and plans for the future. We were going to retire here, bring our grandkids here, share it with our family and mates. This may not happen now. Don't get me wrong, I'm still hoping and praying for a miracle but that's in God's hands. It's up to him. It might not happen. I don't subscribe to the school that teaches that any doubt on my part will 'lose me the miracle'. Fortunately the Bible says you only need faith the size of a mustard seed to move a mountain. Mustard seeds I can do. It is difficult to stay positive when all the medical folk (who are heroes) don't hold out any hope for the long term. Talk to them about timescales and they talk about averages. The average life expectancy on chemo is 9-12 months with this particular cancer. I should manage longer because I'm young and fit. No one talks about me getting better. I want to confound everyone by going into full remission through chemo and prayer alone. Don't worry I'm not miserable, infact the crying did me good, felt peaceful (if not a little dehydrated - slobber, slobber) afterwards. As my dad always says 'better out than in', he's talking about flatulence - but the same principle applies surely???
We had a lovely day today in Concarneau, it really is a beautiful town. The photo is the tiny chapel we always visit here. We pay a call every holiday, light a candle, ask for God's blessing. It's right on the sea front overlooking the bay and very peaceful. The weather was, once more fantastic; not a cloud in the sky and about 16C. We had a great lunch in lieu of Valentines Day at our favourite eatery 'Le Clos Minuaet' near Tregunc - a restaurant we can recommend if you ever stop here.
Didn't get onto '24' last night, got caught up with a documentary about Jelly Fish. Got some catching up to do....
No sign of hair loss. All bits in tact. Swallowing is, once more, back to normal and infact I'm feeling really well nearly six weeks since diagnosis.
Have a great evening and a fantastic Thursday.
Luv Dave.
6 comments:
Hi lovies
I'd just posted yesterdays comment when todays one from you came in. I wonder if you realise how many people are also using up the Kleenex on your behalf.
When David Watson had cancer (probably 20 years ago now) he said "He had to progress from wanting to stay on earth but willing to go to heaven - to wanting to go to heaven but willing to stay on earth."
It's process love and we hope and pray with all our hearts that you are allowed to stay here with all the people who love you. If that is not to be you have a wonderful home above where we will all come and meet you one day.From heavens perspective all the things that we have held so dear in this world will seem nothing beside what we will have there.
Wow I didn't mean to go off like that but I wa so moved by todays post. Can't actually think of anything funny to say this time. Love you loads
Mu & Ken
PS I just read this to Ken before I sent it and the big softee cried. Sniff sniff
We are still blasting heaven on your behalf
Mu
Hi Dave - sorry we can't be there to give you a big hug and support - not that we'd be much use as we'd be doing some blubbing too. Can't tell you how frustrating it is to watch someone who is so full of life speak of death and not be able to do anything about it.....not sure what i'm trying to say here but just wanted to share some heart feelings. You've been so positive these past few weeks and I suppose it's inevitable that darker moments of grief will feel overwhelming at times. Can't really say all the things I feel in a blog and will wait until we see you guys, I will say publicly that you personally have been an inspiration to me in areas of business and professionalism and being willing to be emotionally vulnerable and honest....Whatever the outcome of this trial you're going through I know that you'll continue to affect peoples lives. You're doing wonders for our prayer lives - and stress levels!!!
We stand with you in faith for healing -
Lord...are you sorting this chuffing cancer out or what??
Big love from the stampingtonsxxxxx
Dear Dove'
There is nothing wrong with having a good cry, or a good fart, for that matter.
You are a brave, brave man, who has touched the lives of so many people, not just because of your courage, but because you are YOU, our dear Dovid Ridfin.
I have a vision of God holding onto you, saying " I know, son, I know"
If we all put our mustard seeds together, we can blast the bloody blighter!
I feel a prayer coming on......could be some time...got some blasting to do,
Bless you Dovid, and Teresa, and Carys, and James, and of course Badger Chloesville.
LOL and bloghugs,
Sian the Barn (wide as)
David,
I'd just like to apologise on behalf of my dear mother.. She is so embarrassing!
Keep strong. You are so brave.
Love Abby x
hey dave, you are an amazing person to be so honest about how you're feeling.
keep strong, keep positive.
thinking of you. praying for you
Hi guys.
Mummy and daddy said you need to have lots of baby love sent to you, so hopefully you can see my photo to make you smile a bit.
Just to let you know that they tried sniffing me but they are nowhere near as good as you, so come round quickly when you get back!
I had my first bottle today - about time. Do these parents know nothing!! I loved the photo of your cottage - lots of crawling opportunities on that decking this summer i hope.
Loads of love and anticipated sniffs from Alfie XX
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