Happy Monday morning to you all
Just a brief Florence blog this morning. I will post one from David this evening as he dictated one to me yesterday morning and I forgot to bring it home with me!
So just a quick update. David has gone from incredibly ill to quite well over the past couple of days. Saturday was a terrible day and they thought they were going to lose him on Saturday night but I will let David tell it for you later. I went in to the hospice at some very early hour yesterday morning but by the time I got there he was feeling a bit brighter and after a bath and some TLC he had a much better day but again more detail later.
Just a couple of things I wanted to say. Firstly all the staff at St Johns are amazing. I can't praise them highly enough and the care they give is just wonderful and they do a difficult and not very well paid job BECAUSE they care. One of the nurses who looks after David came and chatted with us yesterday and she told us that she went home in tears on Saturday night because David was in such a state and she felt so moved by his suffering. She has worked there for 12 years and yet still goes home in tears!
Also she asked me through the medium of the blog to try and help dispel the myth that hospices are scary places (obvious I suppose because of the association with death!) However for anyone who has never been to one I can honestly say that they are the complete opposite. Every time I walk in I feel peaceful, safe and calm. There is no fear and often the place is full of laughter (the nurses are always joking around with each other!)Eventually one of the things I would like to do is to be a volunteer there and to try and give a bit of something back which might help others who are going through this difficult process.
Finally I wanted to say that David and I (in those moments when he is well enough) are working things through, saying the things we need to say and talking about the important stuff like his wishes for the funeral and what happens afterwards with myself and the children. I would like to encourage all of you who has someone near and dear to do the same with them. Inevitably at a time like this you talk ahout whether it is better to be going through the suffering process like this or to walk out the door one day and never come back. There is no better - they are both shit. However what this has shown me is how important it is that if you do get hit by the symbolic bus that you have said what you need to say and written letters for your loved ones and if you have any strong feelings about burial or hymns or flowers then you have made them known. Don't leave it and think it will never happen to you. There is an immense amount of comfort in knowing that those things are in place and that I will be able to carry out David's wishes to the full as and when the time comes. It means the world to me.
Anyway..on that happy note...have a lovely day and PLEASE don't get hit by a bus...I would feel terrible!!
Over to David later
Florence x
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Good Morning Teresa / Florence............oh my goodness, what a rollercoaster of emotions for you all. SOOOOOO pleased that David seems brighter and more comfortable. Are you ok? Hi to David........you may read this later............lots and lots of love and scotch to you, our dearest friend! And yes everyone, St Johns's is FAR from scary, it's peaceful, clam, loving, tender and CARING. It's a truly wonderful place. Think about how wonderful D and T are...........well St John's is like them!! D and T............ rest assured we'll have those important chats, we promise you! Have a good day....any more lollies requested? Will do some tonight if so. PLease let me know. Lots and lots of love and hugs, Sarah and Nick xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you Teresa for todays blog. I have been involved with hospices for many years having visited many friends both at St Johns and at Willen and I agree with everything you say. Thank God for the wonderful people who work there and for the peace and support they give at lifes' end. I am so glad that you are finding such love and comfort there. Hospices are a Christian movement and as such are permeated with Gods' love and tranquility. God Bless you both as you work through the important things you need to do and say the things you need to say.
We will read Daves' blog later.
Love you both so much
Mu & Ken
Thank you Teresa for todays blog. I have been involved with hospices for many years having visited many friends both at St Johns and at Willen and I agree with everything you say. Thank God for the wonderful people who work there and for the peace and support they give at lifes' end. I am so glad that you are finding such love and comfort there. Hospices are a Christian movement and as such are permeated with Gods' love and tranquility. God Bless you both as you work through the important things you need to do and say the things you need to say.
We will read Daves' blog later.
Love you both so much
Mu & Ken
You guys are amazing.....thinking of you & praying.....
What a weekend you have had! But as you say, St John's is such a wonderful place. Everyone there is so thoughtful, patient and kind - nothing is ever too trivial or too much for them to do. Certainly not a scary place - quite the reverse with lots of laughter so often. David is certainly in the best place. Please be assured of my continued thoughts and prayers as you journey through these difficult days. May God bless you and give the strength you need. David.
Hi Dave and Theresa,
We were praying for you at group on Friday night, please know that you are all in our thoughts.
Yes! Hospices are wonderful places. My Aunt was in one in Bristol some years ago and I still remember the sense of peace and calm that greeted you as you walked through the door. the people who work there have something special about them.
I also agree that saying what you need to say whilst there is the chance is so important. When my Dad was very ill when I was 11, my Mum wasn't told how ill - it wasn't done in those days. Consequently when he died it was such a shock and we have all lived with that since, sort of like unresolved business. It is hard, makes things very real and certainly doesn't make the pain any less but it does complete the circle.
In the meantime, much love to you all,
Gerry and Gary
Love and hugs and continued prayer being sent to you both.
Thanks for taking the time to stop and keep us all in the loop...even in your struggle, you continue to think of others, and love them...thank you.
Have sent rather a silly, jokey letter to Dovid.....hope it raises a smile or two.
Anyway, love ya,
Sianaroonie x..and all the puppies, who are up to all manner of mischief..little pooey, chewy things!
Praying for you all! I am overwhelmed by your bravery. Rest assured God is with you all, all of the time.
Rebecca xx
Yes I agree Flo with your comments about talking through what should happen afterwords - my friend John didn't do this and when Andrea died he was beside himself, not knowing what she wanted, It made everything so much more difficult for him there were so many decisions to made and he really wasn't emotionally up to it. So yes, talk it through - it helps enormously. As for hospices, I have never visited one, which in some ways is a relief but I'm sure they offer calmness and peacefulness - I too would like to volunteer to help out in this area, I think it would be so good to provide the care and love that makes such a difference to people's lives. You are such a star giving us this information in such emotionally difficult circumstances. My love to you both , as ever thinking about you 'Big Time' x x x x x
Hi t and D - thinking about u as always and thanking T for the blogs i no they must be so hard to write. Been terrified of buses all day.... :-) lots of love Hannah xxx
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