Early on Monday morning David took a turn for the worse. He woke up with excruciating spasms in his back which the medical staff struggled to control. When I got in to see him the medical Dr - Dr Harvey had already been in and told him that both surgically and medically there was nothing more they could do for him. Later after a meeting with all parties including Dr Bulusi it was agreed that no further intervention including chemo would help at this stage.
David's bowel is crippled by the cancer and therefore anything he eats is both not being absorbed but is also adding to the congestion. There is fluid in his stomach but not enough to drain off and the excess swelling is wind and poo backing up in his system. They are giving him some steroids to see if that will help to reduce the swelling and make him more comfortable in the short term but no guarantees.
He has at best a few weeks to live. Tomorrow morning he moves to St John's so that they can assist with his pain. His nasal gastic tube has been removed to make things more comfortable for him. His mum and dad arrived this afternoon to see him and his brother Adrian and sister in law Ann and his auntie Joy and uncle Bob have also come down from Derby with a view to visiting him today.
David himself is determined to live as long as he can and is longing to come home for a few days if possible. He is frightened of the pain and is looking forward to getting to St John's so that he can have a more comfortable environment with his needs being looked after by one or two staff rather than 20.
My dear friends - the words I want to write now won't come. It is 2.45 in the morning and sleep seems a million miles away. In the last 2 years I have been at this point in my mind a hundred times but nothing can actually prepare you for it. My head and my heart are so blocked and backed up with thoughts and emotions. It is not possible to keep crying is it? You keep breathing so why are you unable to keep crying? That's all I want to do but I can't.
God walk with you all today.
Florence xx
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22 comments:
Dear Teresa
My heart is breaking for you. It is 4.45am and I too am awake and was thinking about you and wondering if there was anything on the blog.
What can I say? I'm not going to offer any trite words of comfort, just know that our thoughts and prayers are with you all.
It was good to see Dave on Friday and pray with him and see some of the old Dave.
Just know that our ofers of help are there if needed and we will be praying continually for the strength you need.
with our love Mu & Ken
'Nothing in my hand I bring: Simply to Your cross I cling.' teresa there ARE no words. This is your Gethsemane. But we will watch and pray with you, nd send you both so much love. marion and Gordon
Teresa,
Our hearts are breaking for you all too. You, David and your family are constantly in our thoughts, hearts and prayers. With love Liz & John
Know that I am thinking of you and praying for you.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Dearest Florence,
I have been dreading this news and yet knew it would come. I have been steeling myself knowing how dreadfully numb and devasted I was after my darling friend Andrea died. It seemed inconceivable that people could continue to go about their daily lives when I was breaking my heart. The sun couldn't warm me and I couldn't imagine ever recovering from such a loss. My whole head and thoughts are saying please, don't let David suffer too much more, help them to make him more comfortable. Please hug him for me and whisper in his ear that I'm thinking about him. Be strong Flo, as you have always been - a tower of strength to your wonderful man and family. x
Your tears will come later, at the moment you are doing what you have done throughout - being brave and helping the person you love through this dreadful time. As Jackie says please hug Dave for us and tell him we love and care for him, as we do his whole family. Love Lynne & Nick xxx
Dear Flo and Dovid,
May God walk with you too.
No words will do, so sending much love, and every prayer I can think of.
love ya,
Sianaroonie, and all the family.xxxx
our thoughts are with you all always please give David all our love from Sarah, Paul, Alex and Danielle xxxx
Teresa
My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. 'Heaviness may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning'. (Psalm 30 v.5) God bless you. David Powell.
Dear Teresa,
As others have already said, words cannot express.... Thinking of you all and sending lots of love and strength to you and David,
Love Jane, Nick, Emily & Jessica xxxx
Dear Teresa
I can't express how sad I feel. You and David are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.
lots and lots of love
Lucy
tez and dave - cant think of anything to write apart from we love you both, will see you thursday hopefully.....ronnie the redfern, youre in our hearts at this time......
john and amanda
Teresa
Your inspirational writing over many blogs have both inspired us to look at God and have reminded us that God stand with you all. Our prayers are for Davids comfort and pain free days, we also lift up all the children and family members that will also be finding these times difficult.
I guess the most important thing is that God be with all of you and that dave finds rest. Immediate prayers are that he has the opportunity to come home and rest with you all there.
God blessings and comfort to you all
Our love in jesus
The Scottiesx
Teresa and David,as i said in my text 'the best bosses in the world' there is nothing i can say other than i am thinking of you and i adore you both. sending love to amy james and carys too you are all such amazing people. David, the man who i can thank for showing me christianity,u are in my thoughts every second and im praying for you. Love to you all, Hannah xxx
Dear Teresa
You and your family have been in all of our prayers continually. We hope James enjoyed his time with us and wasn't too tired after Friday. Please send our love to Dave. If there is anything you need please know that the Paxton family is here.
Hi Teresa and David, Lucy has asked if she can leave Dave a message, I hope this is ok with you both........................ (it's all her own words and typing)
Hi dave are you ok and I will miss you and all of us will miss you and we will never forget you we will always think of you and thankyou for all you have done for us and being so nice and friendly to us and you will always be special to us anf thankyou for being our godfather but you will always be our godfather and we will always always think of you lots of love from lucy xxxx:]p.s I love you
My love and prayers are with you all, and my heart goes out to you. It must be unimaginably difficult, but please know you're not alone. All my love xx
Thinking of you all during this stage of your journey.
Dear Dave, Theresa and all the family;
Thinking of you, trying to imagine what you are going through, but failing. I pray that you will know Gods everlasting arms; with our love and prayers Peter and Bernice x
Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I WILL LIVE IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOREVER
Lots of love forever
Suzy, David, Ben and Katy
Teresa my previous comment is for you, God is with you even in your pain.
We have had a meeting this evening about XLR8 and Bolder Gang, our young people's groups. We prayed for Dave as we remembered his influence on these young people's faith. Amazing.
What a witness you all are.
I was just remembering the All Age worship we did when you all painted footprints on frieze paper in the church. What fun we all had then
That was to remind us that when we're weary God carries us even though we think we're the one walking on our own.
I pray now for strength for you all and for his guidance on how I can now help you on this painful journey. Blessed be his name when the road's marked with suffering.
Amen
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